Homophobes, what are you hiding?

I know at least one (there’s probably more) teenager, 17, that is in the closet because his parents are homophobic. He is handsome, smart, thoughtful, and great fun to be around. In other words he’s a good teenager whose parents did a great job raising him.

It breaks my heart that this beautiful kid is living a lie, hiding his authentic self because the two people he loves the most has made it clear to him that they are AGAINST a gay lifestyle.

Why do some of us get so upset about the gay lifestyle?

Why are some of us homophobic and others of us not?

I’m not talking about the bandwagon people who follow the nay-sayers and quote religion and/or for lack of a better explanation will say, “It’s just not right.”

I am talking about the ones who get extremely agitated, those that will even go so far as to commit a hate-crime against a gay person. I’m also talking about those that will dedicate their careers, be it political or otherwise, to fight against every gay rights issue.

I will tell you why. It’s called PASSION. And passion is a dead give-away about what’s going on in your heart, my friends. In case you never knew, I will tell you that EVERY time you open your mouth, you open your heart. Every word you utter reflects your thinking. For instance if you are someone who lies, you’re likely to accuse someone of lying. If you are someone who has cheated, you’re likely to accuse someone of cheating. And so on.

We are only human. And humans are passionate about the things they care the most about. Most of us have either been through a divorce or know someone who has gone through one. Few of us have born witness to civil, clean break-ups. My break-up was ugly and messy. Why so?

Passion. One of us was still in love with the other and was roiling mad about letting go. It would take nearly two years of living apart for the ex and I to accept that our marriage was over and civilly move on with our lives.

So of course when I met my present husband nearly five years ago and saw how incensed his ex-wife was about him remarrying, I knew what I was witnessing. Passion.

My biological family is riddled with homophobic behavior. I have a lovely 18 year old nephew who has his own unique style of dressing; it reminds me of George Michael, the singer from the 80s. He likes straight-leg jeans, patterned shirts, and he usually loops a chain loosely through his belt loops. He has a mane that he’s proud of, sometimes wearing it big like Beth’s son, or in tight short curls. He has a large zirconia in one ear. Two years ago on a very brief visit back home I winced listening to my mother and my brother take turns calling him a faggot.

Two years ago I spent a few agonizing days in one of the southern states visiting my estranged sister, her hubby and their sweet two year old daughter. One morning as their daughter and I were watching Teletubby’s on Nickolodean, he walked into the living room, switched the station and informed me that he doesn’t allow his daughter to watch them due to their possible gay affiliation.

So here’s what I believe about you HOMOPHOBES who are PASSIONATE about being anti-gay. I think if you are a man, you have harbored fantasies about having intercourse with another man. If you are a woman you have harbored thoughts about having intercourse with another woman. And these thoughts scare the crap out of you. You are afraid that something in your demeanor will give these thoughts away, so you speak or act out against the gay lifestyle to show the world that you are as straight as a pin. You speak/act out against the gay lifestyle hoping that this will banish the thoughts.

Of course, we all know that trying to stifle our desires is often a lesson in futility. Thus, the dual lifestyles that many have chosen to lead. I would name a few celebrities, but I don’t want to upset you any more than I already have.

My nephew is straight, but his spirit is broken. He’s already been in trouble with the law on more than one occasion. As for my two year old niece, I predict she will announce that she’s as gay as sunshine by the age of thirteen. Check the blog in eleven years, and I’ll be tickled to let you know.

Eyes wide open, icanseeclearlynow