Suck It Up!

Newsflash for all you folks out there that think you can gain favorable or sympathetic responses with tearful histrionics: suck it up! People do NOT want to see you crying. Your ridiculous display of emotion only serves to make others uncomfortable.

Don't think me heartless, hear me out first. Most of us have given in to tearful bawling at some point in our lives. Those of us with a modicum of self-respect will usually regret allowing others to bear witness to our tears. Now I'm not talking about being at a funeral and dabbing at tears that trickle or flow. I'm talking about being at a funeral and wailing like a wounded animal. Throwing yourself on a casket or on the floor to writhe. What the heck is that if it isn't a performance?

Children (and I am talking about those less than 12 cause the older ones should be charged with preparing to act like adults) throw tantrums and release emotions with abandon. We expect that because that's what children do. We are adults after all, possessing control of our faculties. We know how to hold our bladder until we get to the bathroom. We can cross a street without getting hit by a car. So why can't we control the tears when the company lays off 50 people or the boyfriend or girlfriend dumps you or the bank turns down your loan or the policeman writes you a ticket? Exactly what purpose do you think the tears accomplish? Zero, actually.

Let's examine what's really going on when the water works accompanied with body spasms occur in public. In your head you're replaying every sucky thing that's ever happened to you, including the day your dad left your mother a week before your piano recital and you couldn't perform. You're replaying the time your parents up and moved in the middle of ninth grade, forcing you to be the outsider at a new school. You're probably also replaying the day you found out that your husband was sleeping with that tramp who smiled and chatted you up every time you saw her in the grocery store. Are you getting my point here?

We've all done it at one time, whether we were nine or 29. The other thing playing in our head is a mantra or two of our choosing. Life sucks! Life is sooo unfair! Oh why did this have to happen? Everybody's staring and I don't know how to stop! I hate everybody! I just want to die right now! Why did I get my hair cut so short? Whether the tearful theatrics are occurring outside the hospital room of an injured family member, in the church during a revival, or during a funeral procession, it's really not necessary and it changes nothing.

Another truth for all you convulsing cry-babies out there, you want a little (or a lot of, cause it varies) attention. For those few minutes that all eyeballs are uncomfortably focused on you, you are eating it up and happy to have time stand still. Hey we're all human and who among us doesn't want some attention. We've got YouTube, MySpace, yes and even Blogspot. We're living in the age of reality t.v. where "performers" up the ante on antics in competition for center stage. An example: remember that idiot judge who presided over the televised court proceedings for the Anna Nicole Smith burial debate? Geez!

You might say who am I to say how much crying in public is acceptable. I'm part of the public that's who! I'm ashamed to say that I have "broken down" in the open thinking people would feel sympathetic. And while some did, they shouldn't have to.

I've watched my child fight her way out of a wheelchair, learning to walk again after a car accident where she almost died. We watched, with awe, the family of my daughter's friend, Amanda, prepare to bury her, carrying themselves with quiet, dignified grace.

I've stood at a funeral and watched a relative buried. And during those times, guess what? I sucked it up! So I feel confident about sharing my thoughts on this topic.

So for all you bawling, blubbering, babies, do us all a favor and suck it up!

Eyes wide open, I can see clearly now.