Life's Balance

There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.

--Carl Jung

Why I'll Never Attend Church Again

The word church is from the Greek word, ecclesia, which means “assembly of people.”

According to the bible, the Old Testament, the people of the nation of Israel were chosen by God to carry forward his purposes and promises in the world. Eventually the Israelites failed to keep God’s commandments and were consequently subjected to punishment and captivity. [ref: Dr. J. Rodman Williams, Theologian] Following that, along came Jesus and you all know how that story version goes.

Ten years of my childhood, ages six to sixteen, were spent in active membership of a Baptist church. It was a fairly small church, congregation of 150 during regular weekly Sundays. With the exception of the occasional Christmas and/or Easter programs, my parents did not attend. But my mother stringently required my siblings and I to attend via the church van that presented itself at our doorstep every flippin Sunday.

Despite our initial reluctance it was not an unpleasant experience at all. In fact, those ten years spent immersed in activities like the junior choir, sleep-away camp for two weeks every summer, teen fellowship, teen bible study, those were the best years of my youth. During that period, when violence and turmoil was running rampant in my childhood home, the church offered the functional stability and love that I needed to provide some semblance of balance.

Having decided with certainty that my parents were a couple of asylum escapees, my childish eyes beheld the adults of my church with thankful reverence. In ease, and probably with some desperation, I grew accustomed to the love they proffered via kind and encouraging words. These encouragements spurred on my singing and my writing. When I was 14 my peers performed a Christmas play that was written and directed by yours truly. I fell into the arms of these adults, thankful for warm hugs of greetings every Sunday morning.

Fast forward to my senior year in college. I am planning my wedding and thrilled with anticipation. Not because I am planning some fairy tale princess wedding. Phfft! I’ve never been into that girly crap! My biggest thrill is I am anticipating a family reunion. A love-fest to include all of the people that watched me grow up. See where this is going?

For my wedding 95 invitations were sent out, 25 designated to my church family, including the pastor and his wife. When husband-to-be and I discussed our wedding plans, the only thing that I allowed myself to get excited about was the prospect of seeing my church family again. The wedding day came and went. Not only did NO ONE from my church family attend my wedding, but NO ONE called or sent a card either. Seriously. Not ONE person. I was too shocked to release any emotional response to that episode. No tears, no anger. The only thing I can say I felt was a quiet dismay.

For the sake of my children, several years later I returned to the church. I belonged to a non-denominational church for a few years when they were small. Eventually we stopped. We stopped because they began to see what I saw as a teenager and as a young adult. The hypocrisy was all over the place and I grew tired of explaining the oxymoron of negative behaviors of some of the adults in church.

Here’s what I decided. People attend church for one of two or both things. One is for guidance and the other is for fellowship. The guidance they seek comes through the weekly sermons and the bible study. The fellowship is fulfilled in gathering and exchanging thoughts and ideas with the other members of the church. At this stage in my life I’ve learned every thing I need to know about god’s rules of engagement for living on his planet. And those rules don’t change. As for fellowship, I’m not interested. I have no desire to have my life criss-cross weekly with lives that are not of my choosing. I already get that through parenting and I hate it.

Though we are ALL merely flawed mortals, some of us come with more baggage than others. And for some reason (at least it’s been my experience), the ones with the MOST baggage can be found sitting in church every Sunday. I believe in god, I believe in prayer. That’s all I need.

Religion is a good idea and I understand its concept in promoting social order. This post is not meant to discourage the idea of organized religion. Rather it is a statement on behalf of those of us who are active in our spiritual life, but choose to worship god outside of the confines of a church and its assembly.

Eyes wide open, icanseeclearlynow