Let's play a game. You KNOW I love to see honest thoughts put out there. I am willing to do a post answering every one of the questions below under one condition. If I can get just 15 of my readers to answer at least three of these questions, let's say over a period of two weeks. I think that's fair, don't you? Let's give it a whirl. I think it'll be fun. NO anonymous comments please; I don't like spineless people. So let's begin, shall we?
At what age do you talk with your kids about sex? And how much did/do you tell them?
Did/do you tell your kids about your experience with alcohol and/or drugs?
What do white people think about black history month? Is it something you talk about with your family or with your kids or with your friends?
Are there black people out there who don’t celebrate black history month? If you don’t would you say why?
Would you let your teenager have sex in your home or would you prefer they go somewhere else? Don’t say not at all cause that’s not happening.
Do you believe that the death penalty is an effective deterrent to murders?
Under what circumstances outside of self-defense would you kill another human being?
What is the ethnicity of the families to the left and right of your home? Would you change this if you could?
If your child robbed a bank, would you turn them in? Why or why not?
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Quid Pro Quo, Readers....
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Girlfriend because I love you so much I am going to answer EVERY SINGLE QUESTION........
1. We have already had the talk with Jacob. He was 8 years old and he was curious about how puppies were made because my brother was doing some breeding. I am one of those brutally honest parents because my mom was NOT. We stopped the conversation when he was uncomfortable and was satisfied with the explanation. We have since had more detailed conversations. He is 10....
3. I am a history buff. I love history!! all of it. Especially American history from the early 1930's on......I love the good, the bad and for me the evolution of ideas and change are an amazing transformation in this country. Black History is a huge part of all of us. White or Black. The Black male could vote before the white woman and it was the civil rights movement that was a call for the human race to be equal! How amazing!! We don't really discuss black history amongst ourselves......Jake of course learns about it in school. A more popular topic would be Mormon history.....which is quite wierd haha.
4.No sex in my house. no way and I have to disagree with you I think there is plenty of NO-Sex happening. At least in my neck of the woods. I know it does happen even in this strict Mormon culture there are teens having sex. We have a strict law of chastity commandment that is going to be difficult to enforce.....but Idid it and so did my husband and so can Jake. I was a virgin when I got married and so was hubby 25 years old and no sex.
5.NO. But I do think it is necessary and I support it as a form of justice. I think anyone willing to kill someone else would kill themselves no problem.
6.If they hurt my son.
7. On my dads side I am Cherokee Indian, Scottish and Welsh. On my moms side I am German and Irish.....No I wouldn't change who I am, God made me and I don't want to insult him.
8.Yes I would. He would be a criminal and broke the law and needs a good ass-whipping.
Fun post sorry it is soooo long it is almost like a post on a post!!!
here is number 2 I tried to edit and the cursor started to freak out.
2. I have never in my 40 years consumed alcohol or drugs. For real. I tasted beer when I was in high school because I had green hair from swimming and my mom bought it to get the green out so I took a swig.......yuck. This is hard for those outside of my religion to beleive but my husband and I both have live our religion all of our lives. I let Jake watch certain episodes of intervention on A & E and this is a great reality check for him. Living in our bubble community doesn't mean I wasn't exposed to drinking or drugs, I was. I had many friends who did cocaine on a regular basis. Alcoholism runs in my family and this resonated with me at an early age, so I never touched the stuff.
Fun post maria!!! Nikki
um did I freak everyone out?
At what age do you talk with your kids about sex? And how much did/do you tell them?
I haven't yet, daughter is 9, I do point out things such as pregnant teens and explain the hardships that seem to befall them and the opportunities they miss etc.
Did/do you tell your kids about your experience with alcohol and/or drugs? Again I haven't but same as above I point out the bad that can happen when under the influence.
What do white people think about black history month? Is it something you talk about with your family or with your kids or with your friends? I for one don't think about it or discuss it. The same way that I don't discuss any other months designation. It would seem to me all history should be included and chronological.
Are there black people out there who don’t celebrate black history month? If you don’t would you say why?
Would you let your teenager have sex in your home or would you prefer they go somewhere else? Don’t say not at all cause that’s not happening. I would prefer they did not, I would not and will not allow it in my house.
Do you believe that the death penalty is an effective deterrent to murders? Yes I'm for it, but for me it is financial Why feed and house them forever? It works wonderfully as a deterrent, one bad person at a time.
Under what circumstances outside of self-defense would you kill another human being? This is a complex question. I'd kill Hitler just for the common good. I'd kill Osama for the common good and reward. I'd kill in defense of others, my family especially.
What is the ethnicity of the families to the left and right of your home? Would you change this if you could? White and white, no I don't guess so, but I wouldn't change it if it were black and asian either provided they were good folks.
If your child robbed a bank, would you turn them in? Why or why not? Again a complex question. It would depend on a lot of variables. If my kid was a shithead and in trouble a lot I probably would. If he wasn't and just acted stupid I probably would not. I would return the loot though and whip ass.
There ya go
I'll answer your 1st question, and then I'll come back in 2 weeks and answer the rest. I think people who wait until the teens to talk about sex are making a mistake. The best way to bring up sex is gradually through the years. For example, you are watching a TV show with an age appropriate sex related theme, and you can use that to start an age appropriate discussion at any age. Your kids will gradually learn what's right and wrong without you actually engaging in a "sex talk."
OK, I'll bite!
1. Talking with my kids about sex - I don't exactly remember when it started, but I answer any questions from the beginning and I remember them asking me rather frank questions in their early teen years. It was simply not a taboo subject around our house.
2. Black History Month - interesting question. I am a "white people" and I've always thought it wss cool at the hospital where I worked when we celebrated the month. Many black people wore these beautiful African outfits to work, we had special foods on the menu, and there were some wonderful photo and history displays. I didn't talk with family and friends much about it, but then I don't discuss Italian history or American history with anyone either.
3. Death penalty - my opinion on this has changed over the years. It is definitely a deterrent for the person who receives the death penalty, but I don't think it matters to anyone else contemplating a crime. And I find myself more and more not being in favor of it. I'd rather see life sentences with no parole.
4. Kill another human being - easy. If they were hurting my kids or any family member and there was no other way to stop it.
nikki, thanks for going the extra mile and answering ALL of my questions. re: number 4, there are a LOT more kids having sex than most of us realize. i admire some aspects of the insulation of your religion. it's like one HUGE family. so peer pressure for your teens is a bit different than peer pressure for teens in the outside world. i'm not saying it doesn't exist, just saying it's different.
and no, i don't think you freaked anybody out. i think people just needed time to think about the questions. and also decide if they like me enough to put their thoughts out there. thanks again! :)
southern sage, thanks for going the extra mile and answering ALL of my questions. you gave me a smile on with your hitler/osama answer. i like your frankness on the third question. i appreciate the thinking that went into the last question. it made me rethink my own answer. thanks again!
freadom, first let me say that your answer about sex talk with teens hit a bullseye with me. second, umm.... are you some celebrity or dignitary or some famous person that feels they can join the game and change the rules? maybe you should come back before the two weeks are up and add your answer to the 15 count we're shooting for. third, thanks for stopping by my blog.
sandi, re: your death penalty answer, isn't it interesting the way our views can change as we get older? plenty of mine have! you put yourself out there with your honesty. i certainly appreciate that. thanks!
1. Didn't talk about sex with my ONLY child until he turned 16. Didn't really explain things, just joked around and made my point!
2. My son got really upset when he was 11 years and saw me having a drink on New Years Eve. He didn't like it at all. Never did it again. Noooooo sharing of college experiences...no, no, and no!!
3. Do white or black people celebrate "Cinco de Mayo?"
4. Not sure.
5. My son having sex in my home. HELL NO....FURTHER MORE....HELL TO THE NO! If he's having sex, I'm not going to accomodate it by providing the time and space. No way!
6. Death penalty, yes. Eye for an eye.....
7. I would kill another human being who tried to kill me or mine.
8. Ethnicity of neighbors: Anglo, and Anglo. Would I change it....no.
9. If my child committed a crime, I would turn him in. I'd have to.
Hey chickie......Freadom is someone I just met recently throught he blogosphere and he was trying to comment as much as he could before he went out of town for 2 weeks. just an FYI he wasn't trying to be celebrity like...lol I cracked up on that one!!! he has already linked you to his blog!!! enjoying reading all of the comments!! tried to call u earlier :) Nik
Ok, here are my three -
I don't celebrate Black history month, simply because I don't really know what I should do - do I bake a cake, where nothing but black all month? The guidelines are a bit fuzzy. :P
I would prefer my teenage not have sex in my house (no reason more than the ick factor)
No, I do not feel the death penalty is a deterent. People don't think rationally when they're commiting crimes, otherwise, they wouldn't be commiting crimes.
1. My kids are 6 and 4. I haven't talked to them about sex yet -- I'm planning to answer questions as they come up.
2. We dull in this sense. I have never taken drugs and have never had enough alcohol to get drunk. My husband doesn't drink alcohol and has never done drugs either. So there's not much to share. My husband's sex addiction is another story -- we do plan on sharing that as they get older. And they do know Daddy goes to meetings every week, but they don't know exactly what that's about.
3. I'm white, but I'm married to a black man and my kids are biracial -- so I do talk to my kids about it, but I don't know that that totally counts.
4. See three!
5. Absolutely would let my kids have sex in the house as teens.
6. No, I don't believe the death penalty is a deterrent.
7. I would kill another human being to save my children.
8. Our neighbors are white (husband raised in America, wife in Europe) and Southeast Asian. I love them.
9. I would probably turn them in, because I'd want them to take responsibility for and face the consequences of their actions.
I will speak to my kids about my own drug/drinking experience when they have gone through their own teen experimental stage. I think it just confuses the issue if I stand there and tell them what I did while they are still experimenting because that gives them the idea that they should go ahead and do the same things or worse "because mom turned out okay".
Any sex that happens in my house would have to be discreet. They can do it but they have to respect that the other people in the house don't need to have their noses rubbed in it. No announcements and no loud jungle sex noises.
The death penalty does not work as a deterrent because really...what criminal is going to think "gosh I better not do this or I might get the chair" ?No...criminals are not usually thinking very much anyways.
I've always talked about sex with my kids...even when they were little, just age appropriate stuff.
and I told them all about my drug/drinking...and how stupid it was. I think you have to be honest with them, and the mistakes you made as a kid. That way, you can explain your own rules you have for them!
I would never turn my kid into the police...i don't care what they did. esp. robbing a bank, cuz they might give me some of the money!! ;)
I live in a very white neighborhood. when we first moved here, someone wrote on my husbands new white car, the word Ni*%$#. but after a while, they got to know him,a nd now everyone loves him. I think the fact that he's a cop might havve something to do with that!
We don't really celebrate Black History Month, but my kids DO think they can get away with everything and use that as their excuse..."But you can't ground me! It's Black History Month!"
(Talk with your kids about sex?) My son was 6 and my daughter 5 when I was forced to tell them the facts of life. It seems that they had a playground discussion with "Evil" twins, Danny and Donny who had witnessed their parents in action. Danny and Donny had also been to their grandfather's farm and witnessed horses in action. When they told the facts of life to my small children and my son raged into the house, ran to his room, slammed the door and screamed, "I hate what you and dad had to do to get me here!" I was force to speak to both of my children and create a nice air to the ideas of sex.
(Experience with alcohol and/or drugs?)
Only the bad experiences!
(Black history month? Is it something you talk about?)
A child of the 60's and a Civil Rights Activist, I told my children more than they ever wanted to know about Black History.
(Black people out there who don’t celebrate black history month?)
I would say "fine".
(If you don’t would you say why?) "I would say "fine".
(Teenager have sex in your home) Thankfully I am well past that worry. I can tell you definitely I would not let my grandchildren have sex in our home.
(Death penalty is an effective deterrent to murders?) Obviously it is NOT.
(Under what circumstances would you kill?)I believe I could conjur up the strength to do whatever was necessary to protect my children and/or grandchildren.
(Ethnicity of the families to the left and right of your home?) I never thought about that until now. To the left, Caucasian to the right Native American.
Would you change this if you could?) What? Why?-- no way?
(If your child robbed a bank, would you turn them in?) Too far fetched to even imagine. Since I was a hostage in a bank robbery and it terrified my children so, I doubt they would ever consider robbing a bank.
hi everyone!
umm... i'm thinking you all got together and arranged to make it to 15 comments so that i will HAVE to do a post with my OWN answers. LOL!
i must say, everyone of you gave me a surprise with at least one of your answers. you made my post better. THANKS!
keep it coming and soon it'll be my turn!
:)
Under what circumstances outside of self-defense would you kill another human being? If someone hurts my kids.....
What is the ethnicity of the families to the left and right of your home? Would you change this if you could? White and White and YES!
If your child robbed a bank, would you turn them in? Why or why not?
Yes, I would. I would hope that I will have raised my kids to know right from wrong and robbing a bank is a conscious choice to do wrong and as the hubs says life is all about choices. If you make the wrong choice you deal with the consequences.
1. My plan is to always be open about sex, though the extent of the information I give Tree Faerie will be limited at first.
2. I plan to tell her about most of the negative stuff and some of the not-so-negative (but can't quite say positive) stuff. I am hoping that if I give her the tools and freedom to make her own decisions, she'll make good ones.
3. I like history and culture, and I absorb it like a sponge. I also enjoy American Indian Heritage Month in August, Hispanic Heritage Month in September, German Heritage Month in October, Scots-Irish Heritage month in April and Jewish American Heritage Month in May.
4. I'm sure there are, but I don't feel 'qualified' to answer this statement.
5. I would prefer they go somewhere else. While I plan to be open with Tree Faerie and will make sure she knows how to go about things safely, I'm not necessarily going to pave the way for her.
6. I believe the death penalty is underused and is not implemented quickly enough. This could be a very, very long discussion, but I'm actually for harsher punishments.
7. Of course for the defense of others close to me, but besides that, I'm not necessarily opposed to mercy-killing. I don't know if I could actually do it myself - that would all depend on the situation.
8. Right (sharing a slab and a wall, no less) - black. Left - White. I don't see any need to change it. I really like my neighbors to the right, but I don't even know my neighbors to the left.
9. No, but again, I would try to encourage her to do the 'right' thing. And if she doesn't turn herself in, she had better share! (just kidding, but I had to lighten the mood somehow.)
ok I just realized after reading some of the new responses that I answered a qestion COMPLETELY WRONG!!! The one about ethnicity of your neighbors. I need glasses so bad please forgive my mental retardedness!!! OK to answer it correctly. I have no neighbors on either side of me. and Utah is an extremely white state so there is nothing but white people for miles, and yes I would change that. I would like some diversity in my neighborhood for sure!!! I better read the other ones 2 inches from the screen.....hehe thanks for not telling me I was a complete DORK!!! :)NIK who needs glasses badly.
I'm here via Andrea's Wandering Wednesdays. :)
- I always try to answer questions involving sex in an age-appropriate way, which right now have all been strictly reproductive. (My oldest is 7.) So while we haven't had a huge "birds and bees" talk, exactly, he gets more and more information as he goes along so I'm not sure that we'll ever have the awkward Big Talk.
- We've talked about alcohol fairly frequently because what he sees in the world (I have a glass of wine with dinner, a friend of ours drinks a beer) doesn't match up with what he hears at school (alcohol is a drug, only losers and junkies do drugs, say no to drugs) and he is still trying to nail down what the discrepancy means. Some of the heavier stuff (drugs, the fact that his grandparents are alcoholics, etc) can wait until he's a little older.
- We've talked about black history month the past two years because he's been in school and they've done units on it. Before that, to be honest, I didn't really think of it. February passes so fast that I barely register it. :P
- Hm. You know, honestly? I'm not sure. On one hand, if they're in my house then I know they aren't somewhere skeezy or getting arrested for having sex in a car. On the other hand, I can see the parents of the partner coming and knocking on my door and holding me responsible and things just being un-good.
- Yes. But I'm still not sure if I agree with it, ethically.
- I can't think of any. But then, I don't like killing bugs or rodents, either.
- To the left I have a younger Asian woman (last I checked) and to the right I have no one. I don't particularly care about ethnicities. I'd just like the people upstairs to stop throwing parties at 2am. :P
- Absolutely. Dealing with the consequences of your actions is part of life. I'd talk with them first and try to convince them to do the right thing on their own, of course.
you should come opine on my aimless political ramblings!
No, I'm no celebrity. I'm just an RT who needed a break. I promised I'd answer the rest of your questions when I got back from vacation, so here you go:
#2: I recently wrote a post about this on my blog. You can check it out if you want. Personally, I think if someone is mad enough to kill, the consequences are the farthest thing from his mind.
#3: I'm a whimp. I couldn't kill another human being. I would, however, if I were defending my country. But the military rejected me.
#4: We are all caucasions in my neighborhood. I don't judge people by color.
#5: Absolutely. I had this discussion with my 9 YO son recently. "I'm sorry, but if you break the law, I'm not backing you up," I told him.
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