Raising Our Kids - Part 2

I DO want to add something about the kinds of jobs parents are doing with raising their kids. I have two daughters, 19 and 16. They couldn’t be more different from each other. I love them both dearly and am extremely proud of the young women they’ve become.

However.

My oldest came to this planet with a mild irritation in her demeanor that morphed into a full blown attitude by the time she was two. It was like she had a few tiffs with my spleen and other innards before she made her appearance in this world.

During her infancy there was lots of crying. If she could speak at that time I feel certain she would have told me that her formula wasn’t warm enough or there was a pea imbedded in her crib mattress.

Thank god her sister came along three years later to distract her from her woes.

Here is my point: this older child of mine was difficult to love. She fought me at almost every turn. My recourse? I had to love her more. I had to show her more love, more patience, more consideration than I did my youngest. It was a pride swallowing, ego-stomping journey layered with gobs of mental gymnastics and hugs and kisses whether I felt like it or not.

Today she is a young woman that I am proud to call my own, I admire her so. A college sophomore with a 3.5 GPA, her drive and focus is a thing to behold. But she is also just as flawed as the rest of us are. What I am always mindful of when I look at her today and reflect on how she grew up, is how different she could have turned out.

What prompted me to write this addendum, was having my bedroom slippers, this morning, suction noisily at a sticky, clear-brown, dried puddle on the white linoleum beneath our fridge. My college girl has been home from school one week, but she’s still a work in progress. Only she would spill a puddle of iced tea in the middle of the night and walk away from it as if she were walking away from a spill in the street.

Oh yes, my lovely girl might have turned out differently were it not for the choices I made. Even if I did something as unintentional as staying out of her way and simply providing for her physical needs, she would have been ruined. So in the end, the truth is, I stand on both ends of this issue. Every individual should most certainly be held accountable for any grievous action they take against another.

But on the other hand, SHAME on the parents out there that indulged their wayward offspring or held their breath as they studied the hands of time, eagerly waiting to turn their unattended trouble-maker out onto the world.

The tears for your train-wreck in some county’s courtroom are for your rotten, selfish self.

Eyes wide open, icanseeclearlynow